dead

that's what my optical nerve is. dead. and there's no human remedy presently available to wake it.

a miracle.

to be honest, i'm tired of praying for one. i got tired almost 2 years ago, not that long after my optical nerve died.

i'm not sure how i feel about how i feel and what that says about my faith or my spiritual journey or my personal relationship with God. i know it says that i'm human and humans tire.

but i'm quite alive otherwise. i'm still fighting laziness and other beasts of the field.