5:30am

i just had a really great chill season with a guy who's like a little brother...he's actually one of my little brother's friends. i'm getting together with a few folks to sing an a cappella number this weekend; he's one of them. we talked for a couple of hours. it's amazing how easy it is to be real, give advice, swap music ideas, share concerns and have fun all at the same time. i have a responsibility to those younger than i. it's kind of scary to admit that at times. i don't often understand how and why others look up to me. when i find that out, i say a prayer for guidance and mutter this is bizarre under my breath. and God hears and He says, yes, it is bizarre; you're seriously human. and i say, why yes, i am. so why'd you pick me? and He says, you'll be fine; just be honest.

so i'm being honest or trying to. my "little brother" asked how i can be so chill about being single. that question is sort of like a child asking its parent how Jesus and God are different and the same. you just don't have all the answers the child needs. you can't explain it perfectly. you have to explain it based on your understanding of and relation to it. you can't get philosophical. you can't pull out the bible (you could but you'd probably get a blank stare). you simply speak from your heart without getting all emotional.

sidebar: as time passes, i find out who's reading my blog and then think of how fun it could be to write complete untruths, start a few rumors, kick up a bit of dust...

oh, yeah, about "5:30". it's a really good time to wake up if i've had enough sleep. hopefully it'll happen again tomorrow even though i had a very late supper.

i feel as if there's so much more to write. i guess there is but i'm just nackered!