27.7.05

what's the plan?

i came here to learn. i came to be a student, to sit at the feet of knowledge for two weeks. the weekend was my break. now i just want to keep on treading through all the theory and all the groups singing, etc.

but some folks are here to make a name. and yes, i must admit, it's nice to be recognized, to be told a lot of positive things. and i enjoy every opportunity i have to share the mercy of God. so yes, i enjoy performance times.

however, i didn't come here to be a superstar and give up time i should be eating to practice. i guess i'm not that hard chore at this moment, not for now. i have a particular agenda and now find myself wrapped in another agenda. i'm singing in a quartet for the final program. somehow we're already on the program without auditioning. politics. it's who you know and who likes their knowledge of you. so where in. and we've been spending a whole lot of time practicing. which is why i'm a bit of a grouch. i'd rather make sure i've eaten and had enough sleep than practice.

here's the lesson in this. make sure, when working with a group, that the rest of your members have the same vision you do. make sure they have the same drive you do. make sure they have the same idea of sacrifice. i didn't form the group. i'm not on the same wavelength as the others. i don't have the desire to skip lunch in order to get something sounding good. it's not that deep to me. maybe it should be. i know my part and those that don't know theirs know what to work on. i got mad 'cause i missed part of theory class as a result of all the practice. i didn't come here to get recognition. when i get it i consider it a blessing, the sprinkles on top. i came here to be a student.

and wouldn't you know it, i'm learning more than i want to. i'm learning more of what it takes to be a team player. i don't want to play. i have an agenda. i want theory, ear training, sight seeing.

i'll write more later.

No comments: