it's

over

i didn't have time to detail this last night. after the program, i went to eat with ben speer and several other people. it was a nice way to end the day. but i kind of wish we'd ended with a really calm fire-side sort of fellowship. we didn't need to sing camp fire songs, i just wish i'd had more time to chill and recap with some of the folk. thankfully, i'll get to spend a little more time with my roommate allison from sunday night to tuesday afternoon.

but i didn't get to say goodbye to kyle, elissa, and lori. instead, i made a last minute decision to get a ride with tiana down to chattanooga, where i'm spending time with michelle, one of my closet friends of the last 15 years. i'm glad i came last night (this morning, rather) because it meant michelle didn't have to pick me up and do a quick turn around. it's just 2 hours but nonetheless, tiana needed the company and it was good to get to know her better. she's a fun girl with a lovely voice.

i'm sad about not being able to say bye to eric. i slipped a little note onto his windshield. he's received it by now.

i'm going to try to keep in touch with as many people as possible. like the 14 yr old writer (her name escapes me....chelsea?) who i talked with for a long while at lunch on friday. i'd purposefully sat alone off in the corner of the cafeteria so that i could spend time writing.

are you a writer? she asked?

a bit surprised by the question i said, why, yes!

and she, in her wonderfully honest spirit said, anyone with a journal like that and a pen like that must be a writer.

the conversation flowed from there. i asked her about her writing, who she reads, etc. i tried to give her as much advice as i could in the short time we had together. i wish i'd met her sooner. but hopefully she'll email. i gave her my card.

cards are key! if you don't have cards, make cards. it's simple. you can do it in word and print it out yourself. just buy the blank cards from walmart, staples, any office supply store. you can even use an ink jet printer. and don't get the cards with perforated edges. spend the extra dollar or whatever it is and get the kind that have clean edges.

okay; enough of that.

i also got to spend some time talking to tj. he's about 17 i think. he'll be a high school senior this fall and wants to study music. he has a great voice...just needs to come more into his own style but that'll happen in time. we sat on the steps of mclurkin hall and discussed his plans.

it's quite humbling when i realized that teenagers look up to me. it makes me watch myself more closely. it makes me rethink who i am and how i function. i remember to be honest and to be an encourager. that's what teens need. yes, they need the hand of correction but they also need perfect strangers to be real and helpful and, most importantly, to love unconditionally.

by friday afternoon, i felt very queezy. i knew that if i could throw up or get 3 hours of sleep, i'd feel much better. neither option was a possibility. so i prayed for a miracle. rehearsal for the concert was horrible. i sang, wanting to sing as if my life depended on it but not being able to get passed the fact that i felt week, was exhausted and cold, and just wanted a warm bed and the soothing voice of someone i love. i didn't want to sing. i wasn't happy. so i prayed for a miracle.

and i got it. by 6 pm, when the concert began, i was ready to sing. and i sang. my only regret is that i hadn't practiced enough. the ending wasn't as powerful as it could have been. i'll have to critique myself more accurately when i get the dvd. i dread having to watch myself but i'll get over it.

the quartet piece was fun! i'm so glad i got to sing with those guys. i'll enjoy watching that one, i know.

and now i can't think of what else to say except that allison durham speer told me to email her because she has some personal stuff she wants to discuss with me. woo hoo! so i emailed her a few minutes ago. she'll be a great contact. i have several great contacts. i just hope to be real with them and actually stay in touch. i get all shy and stuff, you know. and i wonder, do they really want to talk to me?

oh, my friend joseph drove up and the three of us visited for a few hours tonight. it was really nice to be able to enjoy each other's company. no drama. just a room full of love. 15 yrs later, we're such different people (except for our crazy tendencies :))

anything else? if i remember, i'll tell you tomorrow.