22.7.05

tired

i sang again tonight. before the program was over, i left with a couple of others to practice a song. i was kind of happy about that. it meant that i wouldn't have to walk out and be met by numerous people saying nice things about my song. it's not that i think it was bad. i just get overwhelmed by the positive feedback. yes, i'm grateful to know that people love what i do. i'm more concerned that they are blessed. a man told me today that what i sang yesterday was a blessing. his words almost made me cry. his words are what i'd longed to hear all day yesterday.

i sang from my heart. i opened up the wound of despair, the fear that blindness causes then moved to the place of hope. i sang His eye is on the sparrow. i believed every word. i sang like i was happy because i was. i am.

now i'm really tired. i just want an open field to sit in. i want an alberta sky to gaze on. i want to sit by the window on a rainy day and just reflect. i want absolute solitude.

it's great here though. i'm writing this from a cafe sort of area on the campus. some folks are also online. some are watching austin powers. others are playing pool and singing i'll fly away. it's great! it's a bizarre way to begin sabbath but it works somehow.

thank You God for this! it's where i need to be.

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