6.3.05

How to trust your feelings without losing your mind - Part 2

All this talk about me is so selfish.

WHATEVER!!!!!

All this talk about me is what I need. If I don't talk about me, I'll smack somebody.

This past weekend, I went away. I took the Greyhound (yes I did) one hour north and sang with some friends for church. The weekend was a blessing from start to finish. The moment I got onto the bus, I knew I needed to be on it. I'd tried finding a ride but this was one of those times when it was best for me not to have to make conversation.

I looked out the window and got caught up in thought. I reluctantly gave up the seat beside me. (I know I need to work on my selflessness.) I slept. I didn't even read through my book as planned. When I got to my destination, I was ready to rehearse, ready to sing to and for God and believe every word. I already felt a sort of renewal.

Now that I'm back home, I'm almost ready for the week ahead. Physically, I'm exhausted and I'll hopefully get to bed by 9. Mentally, I'm okay: just need to plan almost every moment of this week. Spiritually, I'm trusting God to guide me. Emotionally...

My emotions helped me to this point. I felt like leaving. I left. I didn't try to intellectualize leaving. I didn't try to forecast how it would benefit me in the future. I just left. I didn't run from anything. I actually dealt with everything while I was away. And I'll keep on dealing till the cows come home. And if I ever need to get away again, you better believe I will.

If you take a vacation, it's because you need a break from something. But if you don't make the most of your vacation, you're wasting time.

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