these are sermon ideas that i'll likely develop to be preached for class in march and april. one must be OT and the other NT.
"i thirst"
when Jesus says these words while hanging on the cross, what's it all about? what's the scripture all about that needs fulfilling in the Psalms? is his a literal human thirst for water? is it spiritual? have the sins of the world separated him from the Father so much that he longs for spiritual renewal? is that separation what is being fulfilled in the Psalms?
isaiah 26:3
He will keep in perfect peace s/he whose mind is steadfast, because s/he trusts in Him
how in the world is that possible when so much of the world is waring around us? what does all this really mean? how does it play out in our world?
30.1.07
surrender
it's incredible that the moment you fully surrender, passionately desire to follow God, do EVERYTHING He wants you to, things change dramatically....so you rest in the knowledge that His strength is perfect and He makes all things beautiful...in His time.
5.1.07
flight
hours tossed like
pebbles carelessly rippling
water displaced endlessly
time lovingly hated runs
jumps flies soaring
passionately
tomorrow sits waiting
today i sit
loving
trying
hopefully displacing lazy
so that i may fly too
pebbles carelessly rippling
water displaced endlessly
time lovingly hated runs
jumps flies soaring
passionately
tomorrow sits waiting
today i sit
loving
trying
hopefully displacing lazy
so that i may fly too
11.12.06
old clothes
so i'm walking through the dorm, enjoying the comfort of my thrift store sweater when a student, probably no more than 19, says "my friend had that sweater. she wore it from 8th grade aaaaall the way to 12th." she said it with such pride in her memory. i heard it and felt the need to throw the sweater away even though 8th grade could have just been 5 years ago for this girl. why do i want a 5-yr-old sweater? forget the fact that it's comfortable and warm and bright and happy!!
thanks chick! now i feel really old and outdated, behind the fashion times...i might as well be wrinkly, rocking elastic waist band pants with big ugly comfort shoes from stride rite.
okay, enough melodrama...
this is why i usually buy boring clothes that have a "classic" look.
okay, back to work!
thanks chick! now i feel really old and outdated, behind the fashion times...i might as well be wrinkly, rocking elastic waist band pants with big ugly comfort shoes from stride rite.
okay, enough melodrama...
this is why i usually buy boring clothes that have a "classic" look.
okay, back to work!
10.12.06
for friends
i'm finding myself quite thankful for friends. whether it's a phone message or an email, they're often used by God in the simplest of ways to bless my life. and after i receive the blessing, i can do nothing else but turn to God in praise.
these are the sorts of things that make life possible.
and so i continue to breathe...hoping to be a blessing in return.
these are the sorts of things that make life possible.
and so i continue to breathe...hoping to be a blessing in return.
8.12.06
when
whenigrowupi'llbe
married
with children
and a house...preferably with a lot of land
and a dog outside
and a reliable car
working just enough
spending quality time with the fam
and
happy
and nowthati'mgrownup
i'm somewhere on my way to some of that
but what matters most
what i consider paramount
is that i'm wherever
doing whatever
with whomever
loving God
i was thinking about age earlier today, about how i'll be 28 in a few months, about how i'm not ready to say that number, about how different life is now from just last year this time, about how i love snow, about how i get to go home next week, about how i should really get to bed earlier on the weekends
married
with children
and a house...preferably with a lot of land
and a dog outside
and a reliable car
working just enough
spending quality time with the fam
and
happy
and nowthati'mgrownup
i'm somewhere on my way to some of that
but what matters most
what i consider paramount
is that i'm wherever
doing whatever
with whomever
loving God
i was thinking about age earlier today, about how i'll be 28 in a few months, about how i'm not ready to say that number, about how different life is now from just last year this time, about how i love snow, about how i get to go home next week, about how i should really get to bed earlier on the weekends
7.12.06
the same God
today God told me something really important. He said that i've seen Him in action this week as the God who gives peace and focus when papers are due and i'm lacking sleep. and then He said He's the same God at the beginning and middle of the semester.
....so why am i waiting until now to plead for extra strength when i could have had it 2 months ago? well, i didn't want it 2 months ago. i mean, i wanted His energy boost and mind clarifying power but i wasn't so desperate for it.
i need to always be desperate...not on a panic level...
it's like the song:
and i, i'm desperate for You
and i, i'm lost without You
that sort of longing shouldn't be 3 months in the making...
sidenote:
i got to sing jazzy christmas songs tonight at an assisted living facility. it was beautiful, a very good way to begin the wrap up of a very long week
....so why am i waiting until now to plead for extra strength when i could have had it 2 months ago? well, i didn't want it 2 months ago. i mean, i wanted His energy boost and mind clarifying power but i wasn't so desperate for it.
i need to always be desperate...not on a panic level...
it's like the song:
and i, i'm desperate for You
and i, i'm lost without You
that sort of longing shouldn't be 3 months in the making...
sidenote:
i got to sing jazzy christmas songs tonight at an assisted living facility. it was beautiful, a very good way to begin the wrap up of a very long week
6.12.06
impossibilities
when i get stressed i desire to rearrange, clean, go shopping...anything but what i'm supposed to be doing. but today has been productive...why that word? why must i be PRODUCTIVE?
anyway, today has been filled with the desire to get my word study paper complete for tomorrow (which is actually today coz dec 6th is now quite over) i need at least 6 pages and i know the only way i'll get it done is by holding on to God.
in this scenario, holding onto God means asking Him for direction every step of the way. it means listening to and obeying the still small voice that says "it would be good to make photocopies of those resources right now, since the library will soon close, instead of trying to type a million words in the next 30 minutes." the voice also says "don't stay up. get some sleep and i'll wake you when it's time."
that's how the impossibilities of my life all have to be worked out--holding onto God. but i'm so quick to forget. 5 months from now i may be stressed out again, wondering how in the world i'll get everything done.
grace takes my impossibilities, crumples them up and tosses them gently into the nearest trash can. then grace calms me down and helps me focus, surrounds me with encouraging people, brings lovely songs to mind...and the task is completed.
now, i don't know that it'll be perfect but that doesn't worry me.
anyway, today has been filled with the desire to get my word study paper complete for tomorrow (which is actually today coz dec 6th is now quite over) i need at least 6 pages and i know the only way i'll get it done is by holding on to God.
in this scenario, holding onto God means asking Him for direction every step of the way. it means listening to and obeying the still small voice that says "it would be good to make photocopies of those resources right now, since the library will soon close, instead of trying to type a million words in the next 30 minutes." the voice also says "don't stay up. get some sleep and i'll wake you when it's time."
that's how the impossibilities of my life all have to be worked out--holding onto God. but i'm so quick to forget. 5 months from now i may be stressed out again, wondering how in the world i'll get everything done.
grace takes my impossibilities, crumples them up and tosses them gently into the nearest trash can. then grace calms me down and helps me focus, surrounds me with encouraging people, brings lovely songs to mind...and the task is completed.
now, i don't know that it'll be perfect but that doesn't worry me.
5.12.06
come to me
God uses whatever's in your head to talk to you. while He may sometimes toss in brand new concepts to get your attention, He often makes timely use of the familiar.
take the other day for example when i needed reassurance from God right away. all of a sudden i was singing "you're all i need to get by--y--y"
and then just now when bobbie mcferrin's lovely tune "come to me" started turning in my head, i knew God was speaking.
When I'm feeling anxious in my head
He tell me to come to Him instead
Come to Him when weary
Come to Him when low
He will lift this burden, this I know
Take my yoke upon you learn from me
Take my yoke upon you and you'll see
Come to me I'll strengthen
Come to me I'll help
Come to me I'll still anxiety
So when I find that I have gone astray
I can go to Him and he won't send me away
Come to me I'll strengthen
Come to me I'll help
Come to me and listen what I say
Come, come, come to me
the song came to mind before the bible verse...perhaps that's problematic on some level but for now i'm just thankful God does whatever He can to get through to me.
take the other day for example when i needed reassurance from God right away. all of a sudden i was singing "you're all i need to get by--y--y"
and then just now when bobbie mcferrin's lovely tune "come to me" started turning in my head, i knew God was speaking.
When I'm feeling anxious in my head
He tell me to come to Him instead
Come to Him when weary
Come to Him when low
He will lift this burden, this I know
Take my yoke upon you learn from me
Take my yoke upon you and you'll see
Come to me I'll strengthen
Come to me I'll help
Come to me I'll still anxiety
So when I find that I have gone astray
I can go to Him and he won't send me away
Come to me I'll strengthen
Come to me I'll help
Come to me and listen what I say
Come, come, come to me
the song came to mind before the bible verse...perhaps that's problematic on some level but for now i'm just thankful God does whatever He can to get through to me.
4.12.06
(RED)
http://www.joinred.com/manifesto.asp
totally forgot december 1 was AIDS awareness day. i even read a story about AIDS to a room of highschoolers and still it didn't all click. but better late than never right? (well, sometimes)
so here's what i read:
AIDS
I do my best not to make eye contact. If you make eye contact, they talk to you. “They” includes homeless people, beggars, poor folk selling Streetwise magazines on busy Chicago sidewalks. With my head down, I turn the corner.
“Hello sir. I just want to talk to you for a moment.”
Man! He’s talking to me. I stop and listen.
“Oh, hi ma’am. No trouble. Oh, you’re a young lady; excuse me. I’d like to get your signature for the AIDS walk tomorrow. You can sign right here. I have AIDS.” He offers his hand. He’s really anxious and he looks so…so…I don’t know that there’s a word. I’d have to describe every detail. But I can’t remember every detail. It’s just that so much is wrong with him, so much is not 100%.
WOW. And I’m shaking your hand. I say nothing…he continues to make conversation.
“I’m blind in my left eye.”
I’m partially blind in my left eye, I say to myself.
“You are a young lady, right?”
“Yes.”
“You can just sign right here.” He’s really eager to get my signature. So many thoughts are racing through my head. I’m confused.
“But I don’t understand. Why do you need me to sign this?”
“It’s in support of the AIDS walk.”
It finally clicks. “Oh. I need to give a donation.”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t have any money to give.” I’ve conditioned myself to say it.
“I’ll take a penny. I’ll say thank you for a penny.”
“I’m so sorry. I really don’t have any money to give.”
“That’s all right. Have a good day now.”
And we part ways. He hurries on down the road to collect more signatures, more money. I carry on around the corner, homeward bound with a hand that has just shaken death. And for a moment I think of how much more peaceful it may be to know the cause of your pending death, how much better it may be to know the cause of your weak body, how I’d like answers to my condition. I think, momentarily, that I won’t wash my hand for a while in order to retain the memory of my conclusion.
I know I shouldn’t compare my plight with his but it’s hard not to. He has answers. I don’t. And, for a moment, that’s what makes my blindness so unfair.
totally forgot december 1 was AIDS awareness day. i even read a story about AIDS to a room of highschoolers and still it didn't all click. but better late than never right? (well, sometimes)
so here's what i read:
AIDS
I do my best not to make eye contact. If you make eye contact, they talk to you. “They” includes homeless people, beggars, poor folk selling Streetwise magazines on busy Chicago sidewalks. With my head down, I turn the corner.
“Hello sir. I just want to talk to you for a moment.”
Man! He’s talking to me. I stop and listen.
“Oh, hi ma’am. No trouble. Oh, you’re a young lady; excuse me. I’d like to get your signature for the AIDS walk tomorrow. You can sign right here. I have AIDS.” He offers his hand. He’s really anxious and he looks so…so…I don’t know that there’s a word. I’d have to describe every detail. But I can’t remember every detail. It’s just that so much is wrong with him, so much is not 100%.
WOW. And I’m shaking your hand. I say nothing…he continues to make conversation.
“I’m blind in my left eye.”
I’m partially blind in my left eye, I say to myself.
“You are a young lady, right?”
“Yes.”
“You can just sign right here.” He’s really eager to get my signature. So many thoughts are racing through my head. I’m confused.
“But I don’t understand. Why do you need me to sign this?”
“It’s in support of the AIDS walk.”
It finally clicks. “Oh. I need to give a donation.”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t have any money to give.” I’ve conditioned myself to say it.
“I’ll take a penny. I’ll say thank you for a penny.”
“I’m so sorry. I really don’t have any money to give.”
“That’s all right. Have a good day now.”
And we part ways. He hurries on down the road to collect more signatures, more money. I carry on around the corner, homeward bound with a hand that has just shaken death. And for a moment I think of how much more peaceful it may be to know the cause of your pending death, how much better it may be to know the cause of your weak body, how I’d like answers to my condition. I think, momentarily, that I won’t wash my hand for a while in order to retain the memory of my conclusion.
I know I shouldn’t compare my plight with his but it’s hard not to. He has answers. I don’t. And, for a moment, that’s what makes my blindness so unfair.
22.10.06
the summer
sometimes you need to just smile or pose or whatever in front of a camera. and then you have to review the madness and smile, laugh, say "what was i thinking?" and then post them so the www can see : )
with bro anthony and dad....our facial expressions kill me!
me and tricia @ campmeeting -- she's such a blessing...
me and lauri in maryland....i've loved her voice since i was like 5 yrs old!
with lola, one of my classmates--an incredible vocalist! so smooth and honest in her sound...
with dean madrigal and cara--we slept on the beach!
11.10.06
surrender...random (very random) thoughts
talked with a friend about what sabbath observance is all about
talked to another friend about how our concept of time factors into sabbath observance
got a better perspective to approach first friend with regarding the sabbath
read a chapter for spiritual formation class about surrender and got frustrated...
who am i to tell you how to use your time? who am i to judge your level of surrender? who am i when i haven't surrendered anything 100%?
well, ptl i'm searching right? and this is what the Spirit revealed today as i read for class, as i wondered how in the world i'm supposed to be juggling all of my responsibilities and do each one well:
1. i do what i can, believing that God will do the rest. i do what i can to the best of my ability, resting in the knowledge that God will do the rest. i want an "A" in ever class particularly so that if i apply to any phd program, my grades won't be a hindrance...if i'm supposed to apply to any phd program and i'm doing my best with God's help then He'll help me get the grades i need....
2. i stop running because running is a sign that i'm trying to do things solo and realize that it won't work. i must trust others. no man is an island...
3. (there's more to learn even today, i'm sure)
talked to another friend about how our concept of time factors into sabbath observance
got a better perspective to approach first friend with regarding the sabbath
read a chapter for spiritual formation class about surrender and got frustrated...
who am i to tell you how to use your time? who am i to judge your level of surrender? who am i when i haven't surrendered anything 100%?
well, ptl i'm searching right? and this is what the Spirit revealed today as i read for class, as i wondered how in the world i'm supposed to be juggling all of my responsibilities and do each one well:
1. i do what i can, believing that God will do the rest. i do what i can to the best of my ability, resting in the knowledge that God will do the rest. i want an "A" in ever class particularly so that if i apply to any phd program, my grades won't be a hindrance...if i'm supposed to apply to any phd program and i'm doing my best with God's help then He'll help me get the grades i need....
2. i stop running because running is a sign that i'm trying to do things solo and realize that it won't work. i must trust others. no man is an island...
3. (there's more to learn even today, i'm sure)
21.9.06
i tried loving you
no, this is not a human love poem...trust me. it's me talking to God after recognizing His guidance
i tried loving you
hid the sunshine, packed the tears
dusted off a million fears
wondered why i couldn't hear
i tried loving you
searched my heart in different lands
held the bible in my hand
took a fall but not a stand
i tried loving you
kissed goodbye the common place
kept a smile upon my face
trained for every single race
but failed loving you
finally gave up my time
took your hand and cut off mine
gave away another dime
still failed loving you
prayed for wind and rain to cease
cooked up picture perfect peace
dreamt of permanent relief
then stopped loving you
you don't need a gourmet meal
served atop a packaged deal
reciped by how i feel
i stopped loving you
giving thought only to light
wishing not for my own sight
living for that first-class flight
and now
i think
i'm loving you
i tried loving you
hid the sunshine, packed the tears
dusted off a million fears
wondered why i couldn't hear
i tried loving you
searched my heart in different lands
held the bible in my hand
took a fall but not a stand
i tried loving you
kissed goodbye the common place
kept a smile upon my face
trained for every single race
but failed loving you
finally gave up my time
took your hand and cut off mine
gave away another dime
still failed loving you
prayed for wind and rain to cease
cooked up picture perfect peace
dreamt of permanent relief
then stopped loving you
you don't need a gourmet meal
served atop a packaged deal
reciped by how i feel
i stopped loving you
giving thought only to light
wishing not for my own sight
living for that first-class flight
and now
i think
i'm loving you
20.8.06
i really love life right now
i don't have time (never do) to explain why i love life right now but i just want ya'll to know that i do. i could spend hours counting God's blessings...i really like knowing that.
15.8.06
sailing
vacation days ended on friday :( but i'm sooooooo thankful i was able to have them! now we're in day 2 of a retreat for all the Deans, RAs, and DAs in our dorm. it has been quite challenging. had i remembered what it was like 7 years ago, i probably wouldn't have applied this time around.
yesterday we did a team building activity with they men's team. sailing. we drove to chicago (didn't realize i missed it until we drove around in it...sniff sniff) and boarded small sail boats. then headed out (after some instruction) onto lake michigan. i thought it would be a more rigorous experience. perhaps it was for others. but not so much for me. i think i would have prefered the ropes course. but anyway, i was reminded of a very valuable lesson: you don't know how hard it is to lead until you have to do it. the first person in charge of stearing the boat received a whole lot of commands from our instructor. "no, pull the rudder to you...now away...not so much, not so much!......" i sat there taking care of the jib and wondering why she was having such a hard time. our instructor finally asked if any of us others would like to try stearing. i volunteered...and then i learned. it's no so simple. aside from the fact that stearing a boat is counterintuitive, i still don't understand what it means to go "down" wind vs "up" etc...i needed a longer lesson with a chalkboard and diagrams.
anyway, the object of the exercise was to go around certain markers in the water and be the first back to the starting line. we did alright. i think we were the 3rd boat on the first round out of 10 boats. but i wanted more. i wanted a greater challenge. if we hadn't had our instructor, or if he'd stop giving instructions, the challenge would have been much greater.
but i was reminded not to judge so prematurely and also to share the leadership experience...some time after, i gave the steering job over to another team member...my only regret is that i didn't give it over sooner so that the 4 member could have had a chance. we all need to be in the hot seat at least for 5 minutes and especially when surrounded by support.
anyway, aside from sailing, there have been other lessons. i'm learning more about how to be one of the "older" girls, how to model discipline and professionalism.
God is still good...
yesterday we did a team building activity with they men's team. sailing. we drove to chicago (didn't realize i missed it until we drove around in it...sniff sniff) and boarded small sail boats. then headed out (after some instruction) onto lake michigan. i thought it would be a more rigorous experience. perhaps it was for others. but not so much for me. i think i would have prefered the ropes course. but anyway, i was reminded of a very valuable lesson: you don't know how hard it is to lead until you have to do it. the first person in charge of stearing the boat received a whole lot of commands from our instructor. "no, pull the rudder to you...now away...not so much, not so much!......" i sat there taking care of the jib and wondering why she was having such a hard time. our instructor finally asked if any of us others would like to try stearing. i volunteered...and then i learned. it's no so simple. aside from the fact that stearing a boat is counterintuitive, i still don't understand what it means to go "down" wind vs "up" etc...i needed a longer lesson with a chalkboard and diagrams.
anyway, the object of the exercise was to go around certain markers in the water and be the first back to the starting line. we did alright. i think we were the 3rd boat on the first round out of 10 boats. but i wanted more. i wanted a greater challenge. if we hadn't had our instructor, or if he'd stop giving instructions, the challenge would have been much greater.
but i was reminded not to judge so prematurely and also to share the leadership experience...some time after, i gave the steering job over to another team member...my only regret is that i didn't give it over sooner so that the 4 member could have had a chance. we all need to be in the hot seat at least for 5 minutes and especially when surrounded by support.
anyway, aside from sailing, there have been other lessons. i'm learning more about how to be one of the "older" girls, how to model discipline and professionalism.
God is still good...
7.8.06
vacation day 1
first day of vacation doesn't seem like vacation...didn't get up early enough...it's all about the crack of dawn baby! this'll be all over too soon...
oh what a tangled web we weave
when all we want is to acheive
first comes love
then come marriage
then comes the...
okay, laundry awaits :)
oh what a tangled web we weave
when all we want is to acheive
first comes love
then come marriage
then comes the...
okay, laundry awaits :)
29.7.06
don't want to sleep
(wish i had a laptop...soon.)
i'm feeling a bit restless but awefully tired and yet happy all at once. despite the last post, i'm a happy woman. so i'd rather stay awake and contemplate my happiness.
i'm in the office that i share with 3 others. my plants are here b/c my place is too cold at the moment (carpets drying). and these suckers are just florishing. my word! maybe one will have to take up residence here permanently. or maybe i'll just cut off a piece in a few days, repot it and leave it. a plant will certainly do this space good. am i my mother's child or what? ha
i'm also happy about other things like friends calling and having good convo and remembering past escapades and looking forward to future gatherings.
amidst all the craziness of life, i'm loving it still...so i don't want to sleep, just want to ponder...
i'm feeling a bit restless but awefully tired and yet happy all at once. despite the last post, i'm a happy woman. so i'd rather stay awake and contemplate my happiness.
i'm in the office that i share with 3 others. my plants are here b/c my place is too cold at the moment (carpets drying). and these suckers are just florishing. my word! maybe one will have to take up residence here permanently. or maybe i'll just cut off a piece in a few days, repot it and leave it. a plant will certainly do this space good. am i my mother's child or what? ha
i'm also happy about other things like friends calling and having good convo and remembering past escapades and looking forward to future gatherings.
amidst all the craziness of life, i'm loving it still...so i don't want to sleep, just want to ponder...
keeping it real
how does that go exactly? how do i maintain honesty when folks don't want to hear it and when i'm not even always open to the option? and how do i stay positive as i council others?
girl, they aren't all bad. trust me, there's hope, there's one for you.
sure, it's truth and i'm not anywhere close to man-hating but so many women are and it's hard to help them see hope when the list of "not there yets" grows longer and longer with every passing week.
i think this is my first "what's the problem with men" sort of post and i don't plan to make it a habit. guess i'm just frustrated...and not just with the men but also with the women. i want to tell some of them some stuff they aren't ready to hear.
get yourself in order. recognize your unhealthy cycle and get help. and for crying out loud get that "i'm desperate" sign off your face!
okay, i should probably go back to bed. i was comfortably there when the phone rang and...yeah, i got up, etc.
just wish more folks had the relationship peace i've got. can't we all just be? guess i've got just enough good men in my life--from dad to brother to uncles to friends--and for that i praise the Lord!
girl, they aren't all bad. trust me, there's hope, there's one for you.
sure, it's truth and i'm not anywhere close to man-hating but so many women are and it's hard to help them see hope when the list of "not there yets" grows longer and longer with every passing week.
i think this is my first "what's the problem with men" sort of post and i don't plan to make it a habit. guess i'm just frustrated...and not just with the men but also with the women. i want to tell some of them some stuff they aren't ready to hear.
get yourself in order. recognize your unhealthy cycle and get help. and for crying out loud get that "i'm desperate" sign off your face!
okay, i should probably go back to bed. i was comfortably there when the phone rang and...yeah, i got up, etc.
just wish more folks had the relationship peace i've got. can't we all just be? guess i've got just enough good men in my life--from dad to brother to uncles to friends--and for that i praise the Lord!
7.7.06
from the heart
though i fear verbal diarrhea in this moment, it's about time i write...it's been so long...feels like months and months but it's only been weeks.
let's start with blessing:
1. i'm still happy to be here. my advisor keeps asking me if i'm still happy with my decision to come...it's part of his way of checking up on me, making sure i'm doing alright. we met yesterday to arrange my schedule for the fall semester. it's nice to have people who know your parents and can talk about when your parents weren't your parents...the dating fazes...lovely!
2. my apartment finally looks as though someone actually likes living there. most of the boxes have been put in proper places. the bright curtains add such life that the boxes sort of overshadowed.
3. i'm developing a ministry here in the dorm...it's part of my DA job and i'm glad...it's a part of my job that i'll really enjoy. i've already spoken to one resident who i want to get on board because of her charisma and to help nurture that charisma. i'm now responsible (by a certain age/maturity level we all develop a responsibility we cannot afford to shun) for guiding those younger than me whenever possible. i'm humbled by the task and also excited to see how God will work through me. this is "together" lamson hall style...
4. i was asked to sing for a program tonight. i had a really "blah" kind of day, the sort that doesn't go according to plan, not because of any major interactions but simply because i'm absolutely mentally exhausted. i had a plan, a really great plan. and i actually got some major things accomplished. as i look back on the day, i'm quite surprised and grateful to see how much God helped me do. but i wish i'd taken the planned nap...that was crucial. but back to the music...i didn't feel very prepared to sing. i hadn't spent the sort of time i'm used to spending right before a performance. i prayed for help and i sang from my heart. that's what you have to do whenever you do anything to glorify God. if it's not guided by God and from the heart, someone won't hear what he/she is supposed to hear.
5. i get to go to bed now : )
let's start with blessing:
1. i'm still happy to be here. my advisor keeps asking me if i'm still happy with my decision to come...it's part of his way of checking up on me, making sure i'm doing alright. we met yesterday to arrange my schedule for the fall semester. it's nice to have people who know your parents and can talk about when your parents weren't your parents...the dating fazes...lovely!
2. my apartment finally looks as though someone actually likes living there. most of the boxes have been put in proper places. the bright curtains add such life that the boxes sort of overshadowed.
3. i'm developing a ministry here in the dorm...it's part of my DA job and i'm glad...it's a part of my job that i'll really enjoy. i've already spoken to one resident who i want to get on board because of her charisma and to help nurture that charisma. i'm now responsible (by a certain age/maturity level we all develop a responsibility we cannot afford to shun) for guiding those younger than me whenever possible. i'm humbled by the task and also excited to see how God will work through me. this is "together" lamson hall style...
4. i was asked to sing for a program tonight. i had a really "blah" kind of day, the sort that doesn't go according to plan, not because of any major interactions but simply because i'm absolutely mentally exhausted. i had a plan, a really great plan. and i actually got some major things accomplished. as i look back on the day, i'm quite surprised and grateful to see how much God helped me do. but i wish i'd taken the planned nap...that was crucial. but back to the music...i didn't feel very prepared to sing. i hadn't spent the sort of time i'm used to spending right before a performance. i prayed for help and i sang from my heart. that's what you have to do whenever you do anything to glorify God. if it's not guided by God and from the heart, someone won't hear what he/she is supposed to hear.
5. i get to go to bed now : )
2.6.06
sabbath.rest.literally
tomorrow morning will be spent sleeping for ALAP...that's "As Long As Possible."
i'm so tired. and my body really hates me for being so mean to it.
how dare you go to bed at 11 and wake up at 3 one day then go to bed at 11 and wake up at 4 another day then go to bed at midnight and wake up at 6 another day? and all those naps...why the teaser?
i'm sorry dear body of mine. i going to try and change things, i promise.
alright folks. thanks for being part of my self-body confessional moment...now let's talk about something fun and exciting....like....um....hermeneutics!
yes, i'm a nerd. for those of you who don't know, hermeneutics basically means the method of interpretation. so when applied to the bible, your hermeneutic is what enables you to grasp craziness such as how hebrews lists samson among the great exemplars of faith. i mean, it's not that hard to grasp. his final prayer before his suicide was a prayer of faith. but the implications of being called faithful are what complicate everything. so we have to set up a solid interpretive framework. we have to wrestle with the texts using a wholistic and intertextual approach.
i'm actually doing a research paper on this that's why it's in my head. it's called "paul's faithful samson: the need for a wholistic and intertextual hermeneutic"....yeah, subtitle and all! that's what it's about baby!
but anyway, it's sabbath and i should allow my mind to rest from the scholastic life. praise the Lord for 24 hours of intentional low/no stress. praise the Lord!
in other news, this place is so green it's out of control! green grass, green trees...soooo many trees. can somebody cut them down so we can see the sky please? am i asking too much? yes...i know. this isn't alberta. i'll get over it...perhaps. but oh, the campus smells so good. i'm not sure what it is...lilacs? i'm not good with flowers/plants. i just know that i often step out of a building, breath in, and smile deeply.
and i also smile deeply when i think of people i miss and places i miss (not that i'm happy to miss them...you know what i mean!) and i find great contentment in knowing i'm where i'm supposed to be at the time i'm supposed to be here. many people here talk about all the time they spent running away from what God wanted for them. i feel as if i've spent a lot of time running toward this. and now that i'm here, even though is tough and busy and i'm physically drained, i'm happy.
so hear my words and rest in the knowledge that this sabbath is right where you need to be.
till later,
wordhabit
i'm so tired. and my body really hates me for being so mean to it.
how dare you go to bed at 11 and wake up at 3 one day then go to bed at 11 and wake up at 4 another day then go to bed at midnight and wake up at 6 another day? and all those naps...why the teaser?
i'm sorry dear body of mine. i going to try and change things, i promise.
alright folks. thanks for being part of my self-body confessional moment...now let's talk about something fun and exciting....like....um....hermeneutics!
yes, i'm a nerd. for those of you who don't know, hermeneutics basically means the method of interpretation. so when applied to the bible, your hermeneutic is what enables you to grasp craziness such as how hebrews lists samson among the great exemplars of faith. i mean, it's not that hard to grasp. his final prayer before his suicide was a prayer of faith. but the implications of being called faithful are what complicate everything. so we have to set up a solid interpretive framework. we have to wrestle with the texts using a wholistic and intertextual approach.
i'm actually doing a research paper on this that's why it's in my head. it's called "paul's faithful samson: the need for a wholistic and intertextual hermeneutic"....yeah, subtitle and all! that's what it's about baby!
but anyway, it's sabbath and i should allow my mind to rest from the scholastic life. praise the Lord for 24 hours of intentional low/no stress. praise the Lord!
in other news, this place is so green it's out of control! green grass, green trees...soooo many trees. can somebody cut them down so we can see the sky please? am i asking too much? yes...i know. this isn't alberta. i'll get over it...perhaps. but oh, the campus smells so good. i'm not sure what it is...lilacs? i'm not good with flowers/plants. i just know that i often step out of a building, breath in, and smile deeply.
and i also smile deeply when i think of people i miss and places i miss (not that i'm happy to miss them...you know what i mean!) and i find great contentment in knowing i'm where i'm supposed to be at the time i'm supposed to be here. many people here talk about all the time they spent running away from what God wanted for them. i feel as if i've spent a lot of time running toward this. and now that i'm here, even though is tough and busy and i'm physically drained, i'm happy.
so hear my words and rest in the knowledge that this sabbath is right where you need to be.
till later,
wordhabit