4.7.05

the blessed haze

the haze on my possible prostitution calms me, brings me down many notches to a point on my life map i cannot find

too many clouds

i just can't do it, can't get paid for my gifts when they're not being used correctly, efficiently, effectively, cloud trillion

call me crazy

i'm not experiencing confusion because i know what i shouldn't do and just have to come to terms with what i should

this is simple

He's let me go so far but not all the way, let me spread my wings but not all day. He sees that somewhere within this crazy sin kept child there is some good left for His glory

here's my story

i say here take me use me break me, mould me Your will not mine Your way not mine

but i still have an agenda

what i haven't meant with all these words, what i haven't really said in my heart amidst in all my pious rhetoric is

i'll do whatever

dissatisfaction rocks my boat

again

i will now walk the certain road

the end

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